Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize