he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
