he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
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Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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