Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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