Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
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he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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