You're my little dorito
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You dont lie about slip and slides
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
