What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
