Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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