my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize