I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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