Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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