I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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