well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
