For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
When did angry sex become our thing?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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