i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
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His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
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You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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