Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
