It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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