friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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