Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
A+ Viking dick
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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