I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
