you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
