Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves