so explain again why im purple
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me