i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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