so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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