You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
