I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
