My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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