Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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