Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
honey bunches of taint.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
