Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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