Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
