wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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