dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
