They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
