I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
