I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize