So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
