he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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