The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
