How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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