i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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