and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize