you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think a kid would responsible me up
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
