my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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