I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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