I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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