Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
