Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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