You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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