You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
