he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
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i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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