we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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