Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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