I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
