one two three fourrrrnication!
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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