we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize