i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
