Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm at about main and main street
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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