I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
