Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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