If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Drake has all the answers
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize