so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
