Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
