Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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