PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
