She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
