maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
